Survivor. Wounded. Shame. Anxiety. Hunger. Determined.
Proceed with Caution. Build Trust. Reconnect to Your Body.
Regulate Your Emotions. Define Boundaries.
Give Consent. Self Pleasure.
Is Healing Your Starting Point?
If your journey to sexual and intimate fulfillment begins with Healing, much, but not necessarily all, of the following description will resonate with you. If it doesn’t, Growth or Mastery will be a better place to start.
Life has not treated you kindly in the areas of sex and intimacy. You’ve had very few positive sexual intimate experiences or none at all. You carry unhealed wounds from sexual, emotional or physical abuse that go back to your adolescence or childhood. You are a survivor, but survival is hard and exhausting. You don’t trust easily. You’re on perpetual alert for danger and quick to run or defend yourself. Or, you may habitually dissociate from your body as a way of protecting yourself.
You crave intimate sensual connection but you're unsure what that looks like or how to go about getting it safely.
Sexual thoughts and sensations evoke difficult and strong emotions like shame, anxiety, grief, confusion and anger. Or you might not feel much at all. Your body is not a safe and pleasant place to inhabit generally, but especially in regards to sex. Your sex life with yourself may be limited or uncomfortable. You may have difficulty having an orgasm or you’ve never had one.
Perhaps you’ve done some spiritual and emotional work with a professional, but the subject of sex hasn’t been easily broached. Or, if you have talked about sex, you haven’t been able to find safe ways to develop sexual skills and confidence.
You are hungry for a nourishing sex and intimate life. You are fed up with this area of your life not working. You are determined to confront your misgivings.
What the Process will Look Like
You’re doing courageous and delicate work with difficult emotions so we’re going to move slowly and cautiously. I will give you as much space as you need while maintaining loving presence. Any work involving physical touch will happen only after we’ve forged a strong bond of trust.
You will learn mindfulness, how to regulate strong emotions, and how to stay present and connected to your body.
We will explore your feelings and beliefs around sex and intimacy while we talk about your sexual history. This process will give rise to many opportunities to do emotional healing work. You will develop a positive belief system about sexuality and your body.
You will cultivate a keen sense of your personal boundaries. You will learn to give clear consent. You will learn to identify your desires, own them and communicate them clearly.
You will learn about sexual anatomy and functioning through accurate written and video material and exploration of your own body. You will be supported in establishing a regular practice of self pleasuring.
With competency in these foundational sex and intimacy skills, you will be ready for the next phase in your journey, Growth.