Survivor. Wounded. Shame. Anxiety. Determined. Proceed with Caution. Build Trust. Reconnect to Your Body. Regulate Your Emotions. Define Boundaries. Give Consent. Self Pleasure.
Is Healing Your Starting Point?
If your journey to sexual and intimate fulfillment begins with Healing, much of the following description will resonate with you. If it doesn’t, Growth or Mastery will be a better place to start.
Life has not treated you kindly in the areas of sex and intimacy. You’ve had very few positive sexual intimate experiences or none at all. You’re burdened with unhealed wounds from sexual, emotional or physical abuse that go back to your adolescence or childhood. You are a survivor; but, survival is hard and exhausting. You don’t trust easily. You’re on perpetual alert for danger and quick to run or defend yourself. You crave intimate sensual connection but are unsure what that looks like or how to bring it into your life.
Sexual thoughts and sensations evoke difficult and strong emotions like shame, anxiety, grief, confusion and anger. Or you might not feel much at all. Your body is not a safe and pleasant place to inhabit generally, but especially in regards to sex. Even sex with yourself may be limited or uncomfortable. You may have difficulty having an orgasm or you’ve never had one.
You’ve done some healing work on your own and with professionals; but, the whole sex and intimacy aspect has been persistently difficult to make progress on. You’ve been unable to find safe ways to develop sexual skills and confidence.
You are hungry for a nourishing sex and intimate life. You are fed up with this area of your life not working. You are determined to confront your misgivings.
What the Process will Look Like
You’re doing courageous and delicate work with difficult emotions so we’re going to move slowly and cautiously. I will give you as much space as you need while maintaining a comforting loving presence. Any work involving physical touch will happen only after we’ve forged a strong bond of trust.
You will learn mindfulness, embodiment and how to regulate strong emotions.
We will explore your feelings and beliefs around sex and intimacy while we talk about your sexual history. This process will give rise to many opportunities to do emotional healing work. You will develop a positive belief system about sexuality and your body.
You will cultivate a keen sense of your personal boundaries. You will learn to give clear consent.
You will learn about sexual anatomy and functioning through accurate written and video material and exploration of your own body. You will be supported in establishing a regular practice of self pleasuring.
Competency in these foundational sex and intimacy skills will prepare you for the next phase in your journey, Growth.